Butterfly Tears
by supershu-chan
Summary: Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper are on tour together, and Ryuichi finds himself falling head over heels for Shuichi. And in the midst of it all, painful memories are resurfacing. Can Ryu save himself from all the perils of love? Epilogue up! Complete!
1. Pretend

Disclaimer: It's not mine.

**Pretend.**

Something is wrong.

Kumagoro can tell. He sniffs it in the air. The air, to me, smells like shampoo, cigarettes, and an odd touch of celery.

Kumagoro, however, smells trouble.

Or at least abounding sadness.

This is quite the tiny tour bus. Well, actually, it's very large and luxurious. But, you see, when it's crammed with six musicians, each with their own stunningly unique personalities, plus all their belongings upon belongings, _and_ one Kumagoro, who carries so much spunk and charm that one could easily mistake him for _two _Kumagoros...this bus, indeed, feels very tiny.

That, I think, is why Kuma-chan can sense the abounding sadness that is slowly creeping its way toward our very good friend Shindou Shuichi.

What's that, Kuma-chan?

Yes, of course, I too think we should help him.

And so, Super Duper Ryu-chan and his trusty sidekick Bunny Lad-chan spring into action!

What, you don't like that nickname?

Well then, Bunny Lad-_sama._

"Shuuuu-chan?" Super Duper Ryu-chan (that's me) asks the saddening Shuichi. "Whatcha drawing, na no da?"

I ask this, you see, because Shuichi is sitting on his bed with his knees curled up to his chest, and on top of them is that sketchpad he likes so much, on which he is doodling.

"Oh, nothing really..." Shuichi answers quietly, his cheeks taking on the slightest tint of pink. So cute, ne, Kuma-chan? Pink is Shuichi's _color. _"Lyrics, mostly. You can look, if you like."

He hands me the sketchpad, and as I take it, our fingers brush, so lightly. A glitter-electric tingle runs through my body.

Kumagoro says I'm the one blushing now.

Hee. Hope Shu-chan doesn't notice.

I look over his page, adorned by little scribbles. Hearts, stars, a four-legged animal of some kind...I can't quite tell which species it belongs to.

Ah, there are two stick men too. A short one who's either dancing, tripping, or trying to relieve himself of ants in his pants, and a taller one who does not look amused.

Oh, Shu-chan. You miss him, don't you?

I know just how it feels, really. Well, kinda.

It's so, so fun when you kick off a new tour. But, after a while, it gets boring, and not just boring, but also very, very lonely.

That's part of why I got Kumagoro, you see. He _always_ likes to listen to me, unlike Tohma and Nori-chan, who, at times, would much rather complain about their heads pounding.

Well, to them I say: HMPH!

Oh. I'm getting off-topic again, aren't I?

Thank you, Kumagoro. Don't know what I'd do without you.

Anyway, I can only imagine that the feelings of loneliness are only magnified, and very much so, when you have a lover at home, waiting for you.

Especially when you love that lover as very, very much as Shuichi loves Yuki-san.

I am, for that reason, a bit jealous of Yuki-san.

Don't tell anyone, though. Sssshh.

"You can hold me, Shu-chan," I tell him.

He looks up at me with big, bright, confused purple eyes.

My heart flutters.

Sigh.

Kumagoro says this is a very bad idea.

I know it is, Kuma-chan, but Shu-chan is sad, and I need to cheer him up. So hush.

"I know I'm not Yuki-san," I sigh again. Oh dear. I didnt mean to, really! "I'll never be like Yuki-san, but...I can be here for you like he is. You can hold me like you hold him, na no da, and I'll love you like he does."

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

That last part, it just slipped out.

Kumagoro is saying he told me so.

"Okay," Shuichi sniffs. He wraps his arms around me, and nestles his head into my chest. I think I feel him cry.

He hugs me so, so tight.

I wonder, Kuma-chan...

I wonder if he is pretending that I am Yuki-san.

If he is pretending he's in love with me.

A soft, shaky sob escapes his lips. Oh, Shu-chan.

Kumagoro jumps into his lap. He always knows what to do.

I rub Shuichi's back, in circles, and I feel myself kissing the top of his head.

I know I shouldn't do it, Kuma-chan, but...oh, his hair smells yummy.

Kuma-chan, I wonder...

If, just for tonight, I can pretend he's in love with me too.

-

A/N: Just some more pointless fluff. I love Ryuichi. Him and unrequited love go together like...him and Kumagoro! -laughs-

Review, please. :D


	2. Bird

Disclaimer: It's not mine.

**Bird.**

Shuichi and I cuddle, snuggle, whatever warm and fuzzy word you want to call it, for quite some time.

It's really amazing how long everyone has been gone.

Hmm? What is it, Kumagoro?

Oh! I never said?

Silly Ryu-chan.

Everyone (that's Tohma, Nori-chan, Hiroshi-kun, and Tohma's Cousin Who Has Green Hair) all went out to celebrate the success of our concert tonight.

Oh, it was fabulous. Shuichi, in particular, was especially shiny-shiny up on stage tonight.

Shuichi, when he sings...he just absolutely _glows. _Shimmers.Twinkles.So happy. So, so pretty. But if you look really, really close at those big, beautiful eyes of his up on the megascreen...

You will see just the tiniest glimmer of unfathomable sadness.

I think Kumagoro needs a hanky.

He loves Shu-chan, just like I do.

Anyways, Shuichi wanted to stay back here, in our bus home tonight, I guess 'cause he's feeling sad.

And I stayed behind too, just incase he needed cheering up, which he did.

I'm so glad I was here, because I just hate hate _hate _it when Shu-chan is sad.

It's just not right.

It's like chocolate cake with ketchup, or something.

Ahem. So as I was saying, I stayed behind with Shuichi.

But now, it has gotten late, and little Shu-chan has gotten sleepy-sleepy. And it appears he has fallen asleep on my lap.

He sleeps so gently, his breathing so light, his expression so, so sweet like cotton candy, and icing.

No, Kumagoro, I am not suggesting we eat Shuichi.

Sheesh.

He looks like a little bird, Shuichi does. A little baby bird, worn out after its first day of learning to fly, and sweetly dreaming of the day it will soar.

Yes, Shuichi is a lost little bird, who by some kind of miracle flew, fell, into my arms.

Oh, how I want to take this bird home with me, back to my nest.

But, I know...yes, Kumagoro, I _know..._

That Yuki Eiri's nest is where he belongs.

-

Everyone returns around one-thirty in the morning. I know this because there is a digital clock, with neon-glow numbers, right on our microwave.

Convenient, ne?

The pungent smell of hard alcohol, mingled so perfectly with the sugar-saccharine of only the sweetest fruits, immediately takes over the air in this tiny tour bus. Everyone is stumbling, giggling themselves silly over something or other, looking happy and merry and so tired I think they'll all collapse in a sleepy, sticky dog pile on the floor.

Except Tohma, that is.

Tohma is always the picture of elegance. Sophistication. Power.

I think if God wore haute couture and top hats all the time, and played a darn good keyboard, he would be a lot like Tohma.

People fear God. People fear Tohma.

Right now, I fear Tohma.

He is glaring at me with an intensity that could fry an egg on the sidewalk.

Yipes.

"Ryuichi, what is _this_?" He asks calmly, coolly, clipping his vowels. Not sounding at all drunk, like Nori-chan, Hiroshi-kun, and Green-Haired Kid, who, I think, have all already passed out safely in their beds.

"Shu-chan was feeling sad," I tell him. What? It's the truth! "Kumagoro wanted to help him."

He smiles, looking a teensy bit defeated. And he sighs. "Just remember, Ryuichi. Shindou-san belongs to Eiri."

I gulp. And nod.

Stiff upper lip, Kuma-chan reminds me. Right.

"I don't want to see you get hurt again," he says, his stern eyes softening just a little, taking on a distant look, like he is remembering a particularly pleasant dream, or a warm bubble bath.

Ooooh, I haven't had one of those in a while.

Remind me to buy some bubbles, Kumagoro.

"Goodnight, Ryuichi," Tohma says as he walks away, his feet softly shuffling on the bus's carpet, making a _shh-shh-shh_ sound. I like that.

"Goodnight, na no da," I call after him, but I don't think he hears me 'cause I have to be quiet. I don't want to wake up the beautiful baby bird in my lap.

He is smiling, ever-so-slightly, in his sleep.

He must be having a wonderful dream.

He must be dreaming about Yuki-san.

Or ice cream. I have great dreams about ice cream.

Kumagoro, I think tomorrow we will take Shu-chan out for ice cream. Yes.

Now, I think I will go to sleep too. I'm yawning.

I will dream my secret dreams, the ones where I am sparkly and perfect and happy.

These are the kind of dreams Shuichi has about Yuki-san.

These are the kind of dreams I have about Shuichi.

-

A/N: Nope, it's not a one-shot anymore. -laughs- I seem to have been bitten by the RyuShu bug (come on, you have to admit, it's adorable!), and I'll admit I've actually got about half of this story written. I am actually taking on the perilous task of juggling two multi-chapter projects at once! A little nervous about this, hee.

Letting you guys know now, though...this story will soon have some very dark undertones. But for the most part, it's a sweet, fluffy story. :D

Hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks for reading...and for reviewing? -winks-


	3. Muffin

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

**Muffin.**

I wake up to the sound of hot, steamy water running, and Noriko singing "Shining Collection" in her horribly-off-key-on-purpose voice, occasionally stopping to laugh at herself. Silly Nori-chan.

I can hear Green Hair-chan too, banging his fist on the bathroom door, begging her to shut up.

My eyes flutter open and I find that I am staring into a glistening pair of eyes that I know and love.

Kumagoro slept on my stomach again. Silly, silly.

"Good morning Ryuichi," Kuma-chan whisper-sings with me, under our breath, under the covers. "Let's sing the morning song. Good morning, good morning, or you can just hum along."

Someone used to sing me this song, a long time ago. I can't remember who though.

It's a mystery.

"Good good morning, you can whistle a line or two. A very happy morning to you!"

Ah. Now, I am awake.

But, I think I will pretend to be asleep for a few more minutes, hiding under the covers here, so I don't interrupt Shuichi's phone conversation.

Also because Kumagoro wants to eavesdrop.

"And don't sit at the computer all day. It's so bad for your eyes. You'll have to wear your reading glasses all the time, like an old grandpa!"

A hearty Shu-chan laugh.

This is so great.

Shu-chan hasn't gotten a hold of Yuki-san in a while, so me and Kumagoro, we're glad he's getting to talk to him.

"I love you, Yuki. I love you I love you I love you."

You know those little plastic swords they stick in club sandwiches, sometimes?

One of those was stabbed into my heart, just now.

"Call me back when you hear this, okay? Okay. Love you."

What?

All that love for an _answering machine?_

Oh, Shu-chan, you are so, so lucky.

You have the amazing ability to love someone so very, very much, even when he doesn't answer your phone calls.

And, even though he doesn't answer your phone calls, that person loves you in return.

Sigh.

"Don't worry, Shu," Hiroshi-kun is saying, in one of those practiced, keep-your-chin-up voices. "You said he's busy finishing up his novel, right?"

"Y-Yeah, but..." Nervousness. I think Shuichi is wringing his hands.

I hear Shuichi hug his best friend, hear their shirts wrinkle together.

I wish I could hug Shu-chan.

But I'm asleep right now.

Sssshh.

-

By the time I work up the courage to pull my blanket off my head and let everyone know I'm awake, Shuichi is picking chocolate chips out of Hiroshi-kun's muffin and popping them into his mouth. Hiroshi-kun is laughing at this, but I think he's a little peeved that his muffin is getting mangled.

"Hey, Sakuma-san," Hiroshi-kun says to me, as I wander over to our little table.

Shuichi slowly diverts his attention from the muffin to me. Then back to the muffin.

He's blushing.

"Good morning, na no da," I say, my voice a bit groggy from sleep. As I clear my throat, Kumagoro waves a bunny paw.

Shuichi will not look at us.

Argh.

"Shuuu-chan?" I ask in my Kumagoro voice. Kumagoro pokes him with his nose.

A Shuichi giggle-snort.

I like that.

Kumagoro digs his nose into Shuichi's side, where he is apparently very ticklish.

Shu-chan laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair. Actually, he does, but Hiroshi-kun catches him.

Kumagoro decides to give him a break. If you laugh too hard, your tummy hurts.

Still giggling, and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Shu-chan says, "Thank you, Ryuichi. For last night."

Hiroshi-kun looks confused.

I smile. "You're very welcome, na no da! Super Duper Ryu-chan is always here to help!"

Another laugh. Oh, how I love that sound.

It's candy for my ears. It's _sex_ for my ears.

What? Ears need yummy things too, Kumagoro.

"I'm sorry I'm such a big crybaby." He blushes again.

"No no no! You are most certainly _not!_ Everyone needs to cry." Kumagoro nods. He's very smart when it comes to this kind of thing, so I'm glad he agrees. "If you don't cry, you'll be like a soda bottle that just gets shook and shook and shook! Then BOOM! Explode. Sticky."

Kumagoro doesn't approve anymore. He says I need to be more articulate.

Whatever that means.

Shuichi is still smiling. He glows, he shines. Oh, my heart. "Thank you," he says, looking down at his hands, which he has folded in his lap.

He's so sweet.

Oh yeah!

"Hey, hey Shu-chan! You know what else is sticky?"

He and Hiroshi-kun give me _very _odd looks.

I don't know what _that's _about.

Kumagoro shrugs.

"Ice cream!"

-

A/N: Hmmm. Not much plot here, I'm afraid. I'm sorry! Just some character development, and my lame attempts at sexual innuendo. -falls over laughing-

Next chapter is very very important! I'm excited! Are you?

Well, please keep reading! Thank you very much for reading thus far, and reviewing too. :D


	4. Attention

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

**Attention.**

I take Shuichi to a little place called Cookie's.

It's called Cookie's, but it sells ice cream.

This is because the lady who owns it is named Cookie.

Really!

Kumagoro and I know her very well. You see, before I became shiny-famous, every summer my family would come up here, to Kyoto, and visit some relatives. This is how I first met Tohma, believe it or not.

So, when I would come up here, my cousins and me, we'd always ride our bikes up to this little ice cream store called Cookie's.

Cookie is a little bit pudgy, with curly-swirly short hair and honey-colored eyes. She is one of those kinds of people that everyone just absolutely loves, because she is just so sweet.

She's the grandma everyone wishes they had.

She is even always willing to give out free samples, to make sure you like the flavor you are trying, before you buy a whole cone full of it.

This is very considerate, Kumagoro thinks.

I introduce Cookie to my dear friend Shu-chan, whom she likes so much that she waddles out from behind the counter so she can hug him. Shu-chan looks very surprised, and very happy, as she ruffles his hair, chirping about how cute he is.

I think, sometimes, he just needs some attention.

But then again, don't we all?

Kumagoro, for example, would go crazy without it.

Yes you would, don't lie.

Shu-chan orders a strawberry cone, pink as his hair, topped with hundreds of little chocolate sprinkles. Yummy. I can't choose between mint chocolate chip and Oreo, so I ask Kumagoro what he thinks.

He suggests both.

I like the way you think, Kumagoro.

Shuichi and I happily lick our cones, but Shu-chan is being bombarded with questions from Cookie. I guess she has gotten bored with me. But Shuichi is so cute, surely she can't help it.

She has a lot of free time today, because this place is not very popular on weekdays, when the kids are in school.

Occasionally, business-suit-wearing adults will come in for some ice cream on their lunch breaks. One time I saw a very grumpy and stuffy-looking professional order a bubblegum cone, topped with Gummy Bears.

Kumagoro and I, we chuckle, remembering it.

Oh, I got off-topic again. I'm sorry!

So, on weekends, this place is packed. Jammed. Sweaty, sticky, crowded beyond compare. Especially in the summertime. Kinda like a mosh pit, but with ice cream at the end, instead of a hangover and a sprained ankle.

That only happened once, Kumagoro!

Geez.

Anyway, Shuichi is politely answering all the questions Cookie is firing at him, as he absently twirls himself in the 1950s-American-Diner style chair. Sparkly, and spinny.

Until, that is, Cookie asks, with wiggling eyebrows, "How are things with Yuki-san?"

"Um." Shuichi's eyes glisten, with a tiny sparkle not unlike sadness. "We're doing great," he says to a certain speck on a tile on the floor.

_Even though we haven't talked in weeks, _I want him to add.

_Even though he won't pick up his goddamn phone._

_Even though it's like I'm nothing to him anymore._

No, Ryuichi, Kumagoro is saying, don't think like that.

Yuki-san isn't like him. He's not.

"Cookie!" I exclaim, a bit too loudly. Shuichi's head jolts up at the sound of my voice. "I'm sorry, but we really must be going. Sound check! Thanks for the ice cream, na no da!"

"Yeah, thanks," Shuichi says, offering her a tiny smile as he stands up, cone still in hand.

His voice sounds...broken, somehow. Like a jigsaw puzzle, almost complete, _almost _making a beautiful picture, just missing the last few pieces.

Sigh.

Shu-chan hugs Cookie, and I hug Kumagoro.

"Thank you," Shuichi says, as we walk out the door. I hear a little bell chime behind us. The sun pours down on our faces, and Shuichi looks golden. Radiant. If only he weren't so sad. "For the ice cream, and for...you know...saving me. Again."

I squeeze his shoulder, and give him the brightest smile I can muster.

I wonder if I...am radiant, too.

"That's what Super Duper Ryu-chan is here for!"

He laughs.

I absolutely love it when he laughs.

He licks a chocolate sprinkle off the corner of his lips, and oh...

Shining, here in the sunlight, smiling, at _me..._

He looks so yummy. Scrum-diddly-umptious.

Even better than Cookie's ice cream, which is, by the way, sensational.

Surely one kiss wouldn't hurt, I mean...

Yuki-san wouldn't even care.

I can't help it.

It happens so fast.

Kumagoro doesn't even have time to stop me.

-

A/N: Oh ho ho ho. What will happen now between our favorite main characters whose names rhyme? Hmmm. I dunno. Or do I?

...Wow, I had too much orange soda. -laughs-

Aaaanyways, thanks so very very much as always for your reviews! You guys have no idea how appreciated they are! They really keep me going! I gotta do a shout-out to **Tenka-chan**, because she's amazing. And to everyone else too! Love love love!

Thanks so much for reading, all! And please review. -bows like the fangirl she is-


	5. Midnight

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine.

**Midnight.**

I had a lover, once.

Well, I've had many lovers. This, I think, is not because I am a particularly extraordinary person, but because I am a rock star. Sex, drugs, rock and roll...they all go together, apparently. It's like the unwritten rule.

Me and Kumagoro, we don't do drugs anymore, though.

But anyway, this lover, my Takashi, he was special.

This is because he was the only one that ever mattered.

He was gorgeous, he really was. Perfect. So completely perfect, like a cool, creamy Dreamsicle at the end of a scorching summer day. Black hair that would shine just the prettiest midnight-electric blue under the right light, which he would usually fashion into gravity-defying spikeys.

I liked it when he wore it down, though, when his bangs flopped in front of his eyes. He liked it when I'd push them out of the way and kiss the bridge of his nose.

I liked it, too.

He was...he was everything. He made my sky blue, purple, whatever color I wanted it to be. He was my sparkle. My reason.

He...

He hit me.

-

At first, we spent every minute together. Talking, laughing, making up silly songs, having whipped cream fights. He'd tell me of all the places he'd been, and I'd ramble on about all the places I was soon to go.

He never liked to see me leave.

He loved me.

Really, Kumagoro...he did.

Once, I was out on tour with Tohma and Nori-chan, of course. This was when Takashi and I were so, so in love. I was the happiest man on earth at the time, I really really was so happy. I called him every night, my Takashi, and we had the best talks, about penguins and go-go boots and the dreams we'd had about each other the night before.

But one night he didn't pick up the phone.

And he never did again.

I was so, so scared.

But when I got home, he was there, my Takashi, his hair shining blue, midnight-electric, from the moonlight streaming in through a crack in the curtains.

His bangs flopped in front of his topaz eyes, sparkling with the sparkle they would only attain after he'd consumed large amounts of alcohol.

"Missed you, Ryu," he said, his voice low and dark and so delicious, as he kissed my forehead. I could smell the tangy alcohol on his breath, beginning to swirl around my senses and hypnotize me with its yumminess.

"Why didn't you answer my calls, na no da?" I asked, snuggling into his chest.

Yes, Kumagoro. Looking back, _now _I see it was stupid.

I don't really remember what happened next. I remember...

Shaking. The floor was hard. Cold. I hit my head. Crying.

He...Takashi, my Takashi...so, so sweet and loving and funny...he couldn't do something like this.

He couldn't.

I wouldn't believe it.

So I didn't. I'd pretend. I'd wish and wish for all the pain to go away, and it did, eventually.

Takashi wasn't hitting me anymore. He was pushing my hair away from my ear and whispering sweet nothings while playing with my earrings.

He wasn't kicking me, I wasn't falling down to the floor. He was giving me backrubs, massages, trailing sweet kisses down my back, happy shivers up my spine.

He wasn't kicking me again, as I lay on the floor, curled up in a ball and crying.

He was telling me just how much he loved me.

I was numb. I was happy. I was happily, blissfully numb. But even though I could hide my bruises from myself so easily, by simply pretending they weren't there...

They weren't so easy to hide from everyone else.

I say I was numb, blissfully numb. Tohma says I was 'in denial'.

Tohma...he had me hospitalized, for a while.

-

_Blinding and electric, you kiss me_

_Under the neon streetlight, wash away my fears_

_Pray, darling, you'll never forget me_

_Vanishing, glitter, fly away butterfly tears_

I read over the lyrics I've just scribbled on my old Levis, with a purple Sharpie.

Kumagoro says they're not very good, and I'm afraid I have to agree.

Darn. Sharpie probably won't wash out.

Hey, Kumagoro?

Why...why do you think, after all this time, I'm remembering this, all this, Takashi...now?

I steal a lickety-split glance at the little pink-haired angel, practicing, singing, up on stage in his sweatpants, using a water bottle as his pretend microphone.

He seems a little jumpy. Sweaty.

His eyes meet mine, for just one microsecond, quicker than the flapping of a butterfly's wings. We both tear our eyes away from each other, as soon as we can.

Shuichi goes back to singing, and I go back to my pants.

Shuichi looks...scared. Scared, of me.

So this is why I'm remembering, isn't it, Kumagoro?

Shudder.

-

A/N: Eep. Hopefully I didn't lose any fans over that...? I'm sorry. That is as bad as any violence will get, but if anyone was offended in the slightest, I am really, really sorry, from the bottom of my heart.

I like this chapter though. Angst is fun. :D

Elsewise, hmmm. Welp, thank you all so much for your reviews! They are making me so, so happy! They are making my world spin a little bit faster, making my ride a little bit funner!

...Gosh, I'm such a nerd. Thanks for reading everyone! And review, if you get the time, please.


	6. Dreamland

Disclaimer: OMG. It's not mine.

**Dreamland.**

He is looking at me.

He is looking right at me.

His eyes, big, bright, so, so scared. Watching every move I make, reading every thought.

Kumagoro, his eyes...are slowly eating away at my soul.

I want to tell him I'm sorry, that of course I didn't mean to kiss him, that I get carried away sometimes. These things happen.

No. No, they don't.

They shouldn't. Not when I know full well that Shuichi...belongs to Yuki-san.

Even now, even when he won't talk to him on the phone. Even when Shu-chan is reduced to butterfly tears and broken whispers.

Even when...

Yuki-san still loves him, doesn't he?

Surely, he does, right, Kumagoro?

Not everyone...is like that. They aren't. But still.

You can never be too sure, can you?

-

Bad Luck sings before Nittle Grasper. I think because we are more established, is why we go second.

Or maybe because all our fans are old folks like us, and they can stay up later. Bad Luck's fans are younger, so they need to go home early before they fall asleep in the arena, even though the chairs here are quite comfy.

Squishy, and reclinable too.

Anyway, I always give Shu-chan a good luck hug before he goes on stage. Always. Kumagoro gives him a bunny high-five, and we say a little prayer for him.

Always.

We don't see him tonight.

We don't even know it's show time until we hear Shu-chan up on stage, yelling at the top of his most sparkly voice, "Hello, Kyoto!" His voice...is not broken, anymore. The final pieces have been found, handed to him, and placed most gently into the spaces where they belong.

It's so strong, his voice. Reaching out to the farthest corners of the stadium, bouncing back, echoing through our hearts.

His voice, it's so...radiant. Liquid sunshine. Pouring over me, drenching me in glittering sunlight, so bright it's just short of blinding. It's...

Oh. I'm sorry, Kumagoro.

He says I was babbling. Forgive me!

So, I think while Shu-chan is up on stage, singing, performing, shining...

I will call Yuki-san on his cell phone.

It is, of course, the first number on his speed dial. He even got a little heart next to the name.

I let out a long, long sigh.

Are you sure this is the right thing to do, Kumagoro?

Me neither.

Ring, ring, ring...

"Hello?" It sounds so sleepy, Yuki-san's voice, not entirely conscious. Like it just woke up, knocked off its train, halfway to dreamland. His voice is tired, scratchy, dusty. Like an old, neglected record player, like he hasn't talked in weeks.

Maybe he hasn't.

Maybe he will end up just like...

No.

"Shu?" Yes, Yuki-san is in bed. I hear him sitting up, his sheets whispering, moving along with him. It's only seven-thirty, which is a little early for someone to be trying to sleep. But Tohma says he is a writer, and that they are allowed their eccentricities.

"No, this is Ryu," I say, sounding terrified, but infinitely braver than I feel. "Ryuichi."

I'm choking. This is no good, I have to sing soon. I need a drink.

I'm scared I'll tear off Kumagoro's ear, I'm clutching it so tightly. I try to loosen my grip, but...

Yuki-san is going to hang up.

"No! Wait, please." I need to talk to you, Yuki-san. I need to make sure...

You don't become like him.

I'd do anything.

But what _can_ I do?

What can I possibly say?

'Please don't ignore your beautiful boyfriend, then begin mercilessly beating him the day he happily, cluelessly walks back into your arms?'

Obviously _not, _Kumagoro.

You are no help at all.

"I'd just like to say," I tell him calmly, coolly, very Tohma-esque, "that Shuichi will not be returning to you. I am in love with him, and he..." I gulp.

He doesn't love you, Ryuichi.

I _know, _Kumagoro. I know.

But...

"He loves me too."

I hear a snarl.

Not good.

"Thank you for understanding," I say, quickly and professionally, as I hang up before he can reach through the phone and rip my throat out.

That would not be pretty, and I have to sing in an hour.

Sigh.

That wasn't a complete and _total _lie, was it, Kumagoro?

Kuma-chan says I don't even have to ask him, that I already know the answer.

Shit.

-

A/N: Meep. It looks as though Ryu-chan has confronted Yuki-san.

What will happen now?

Only I know! -evil laughter-

I have got to stop typing these so late at night. It's getting to my brain.

Ah! Sorry for posting these so quickly. I wanted to get this one up before my short trip on Wednesday. Then, I have three more I'd like to post before I go away for a month on the seventeenth. Hopefully that isn't too much!

There are eleven chapters in total, if you're wondering. I'm actually quite happy with the way this turned out, but I have a feeling that more than half of you will not be. -ducks from flying tomatoes in advance-

Welp, hope everyone likes it so far! Thanks so so much for all the reviews, and of course, for reading this lowly fic! Thanks from all the deepest corners of my heart, loves.


	7. Shiver

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Shiver.**

Remember when I went to America, to pursue my solo career?

Yeah, right.

After Tohma found out about Takashi hurting me, he...sent him away. To jail. In America.

Far away from me.

But me...I ...I still loved him. With all my heart. To-the-ends-of-the-earth love. Even-to-America love.

I was still, as Tohma would say, "in denial".

Tohma and I...we fought. A lot. For months and months. His hands, I noticed, would shake, whenever I brought up Takashi.

Tohma never shook. Never cracked. Never, ever showed any kind of weakness, fragility. At all.

Except at the mention of Takashi.

Then his hands, ever-so-slightly, would quiver.

It scared me. I would find myself shaking all over.

Tohma...was not supposed to be scared.

He just wasn't.

But anyway, after all my begging and pleading and groveling (Tohma likes groveling, I think), he finally let me go, but only under the care of my brand-new manager, K.

He was chosen, I think, because he is very good with guns.

I never found Takashi, though. I searched for him, I never ever stopped. I called his name, everywhere I went, I sang our songs.

But I never found him.

I guess 'cause I didn't know what state he was in, or, more than half the time, what state _I _was in. But still...I looked for him, hoping with every tear that I'd cried, that I would find him.

I searched for him, even in my dreams.

-

Fingertips.

Cold...cold fingertips. Brushing against my forehead, gliding over my skin, washing away the...everything.

Don't make fun of my grammar, Kumagoro.

"Ryuichi." A whisper. A hoarse whisper. Shuichi's voice always gets so worn out after concerts.

Shuichi?

Why...? He hasn't talked to me at all, since...since...

Oh, Shuichi.

You're gonna kill me.

"You were tossing and turning so violently," he whispers, here in the dark, my sheets rustling underneath him as he tries to find a way to kneel comfortably on my bed.

It's so dark. I can only see the tiniest shimmer in his eyes. Everything else is nothing but shadows, creeping, slithering through the darkness.

Shiver.

"I thought you must have been having a terrible nightmare." His voice is waking up, but it's still so soft. A feather voice. A butterfly voice.

"I-I thought I should..." He takes one of my trembling hands, and gently slides it between his. His hands are so tiny, so cold. And so soft. I wonder what his secret is. They're just so incredibly...soft. "I wanted to help you."

Our fingers lace.

I'm in heaven.

Kumagoro smells trouble.

"T-Thank you, Shuichi." My voice...sounds so shaky. It doesn't sound like me, not at all. It sounds...disconnected. Far away. Scared.

You know what's funny? I have a whole lot of control over my voice, when I sing. But not at all when I talk.

Of course, I do have all these feelings and emotions and things swirling around in my head. I mean, how am I possibly supposed to keep track of all of those, _and _my voice?

Sigh.

"Mm." A hum, way far in the back of Shuichi's throat. The kind he does when he wants to make his fangirls squeal extra-loud. I want to squeal, a little bit, too.

He sits, just sits there, in total darkness, for so long, just holding my hand.

A yawn. Shuichi yawns.

He's sleepy. He should go back to sleep. He should, oh, but...

I want him here with me. Sometimes I think I almost need him.

More rustling. No. He's getting up. I...

I tug on his shirt.

Please, don't leave me, Shuichi.

Kumagoro huffs, and sticks his nose in the air.

He says he's not speaking to me anymore.

Sure, you aren't, Kumagoro.

Shuichi falls under my covers, and curls himself up into a little ball, still holding my hand.

Oh, Shuichi.

I just love you.

How...how can you forgive me, just like that? How can you care for me, why do you...do these things...for me?

Do you know, somehow, how deeply I need you?

Do you need me too?

"Hey...Ryuichi?" His voice has almost completely vanished into sleepiness. I don't even think he's whispering anymore. "I like that song...the one you wrote on your pants."

"Really?"

He hums again, into my pillow. I feel his breath on my neck, and simultaneously, sensations I cannot describe. I want to squeal again.

"I'll sing it for you, sometime, na no da," I tell the top of his head. Why must his hair always smell so good?

I can feel him smile. That makes me smile, too.

I listen as his feather-breaths go steady. He falls asleep so quickly, so gently. How did I end up with this angel in my arms? This perfect, sparkling, sleeping soul, bathed in innocence, drenched in naivety, dripping all that is beautiful and holy, reminding me all too acutely of everything I'm not.

What did I ever do to deserve Shindou Shuichi?

Kumagoro pauses his silent treatment to tell me exactly what I did.

I lied to his boyfriend.

Shiver.

-

A/N: I added a lot of stuff to this one, between writing and typing it. I really like how it turned out. Not much to say about it though. Same old, same old...angst, and a little bit of syrup for those of you who like that kind of thing. :D

Okay, um...can I just say how extremely grateful I am for all the reviews? I could fly to the moon, powered solely by happiness. Really. I'm such a newbie on this site, and you guys have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you SO much!

And in case you missed that paragraph, thanks again. Please review if you have the time. :D


	8. Confetti

Disclaimer: Nope.

**Confetti.**

Kumagoro, stop that. Stop...tickling me. I want to sleep.

What do you _mean, _I can't sleep? I'll have you know that I am perfectly capable of–

Oh. I see.

Thank you, Kumagoro.

Noriko is standing in front of my bed, her fists on her hips. Her face looks a little bit pinched, like she just smelled something especially icky.

Hmm. I don't smell anything.

"What were you thinking, Ryu?" she asks, very, very loudly. Oh, my ears are still ringing from the concert. I need a drink of water. Or maybe grape soda.

"I don't know," I tell her truthfully, sitting up in bed and trying to untangle the sheets from around my ankles. "What was I thinking?"

She sighs a long, long sigh and plops down onto the bed next to me. "I know about your crush on Shuichi, Ryu. We all do." She laughs lightly. An airy laugh, windchime laugh. "But he has a boyfriend. A boyfriend he's crazy about, I might add."

"I know," I tell her softly. I know I know I know I know I _know._

But everytime I remember, another sewing needle is shoved into my heart.

It's...it's not fair.

Why did Yuki-san have to find Shuichi first? Why did Shuichi have to fall in love with him?

What made Shuichi pick Yuki-san?

What made me pick Shuichi?

Is there anyone to pick me?

Besides you, Kumagoro.

Silly.

"He's such a little spazz," Noriko chuckles sweetly. Wistfully. "He reminds me so much of you. I don't want to see him get hurt like you did."

My voice can't think of something new to say, so it just echoes itself. "I know."

"I don't wanna see you get hurt either, you spazz." She's punching my shoulder, lightly. Playfully.

Kumagoro nuzzles her, tickles her, right where your neck meets your shoulders.

Me and Kumagoro, we love Nori-chan.

Because even when she says something that should make me feel bad about myself, I still end up feeling okay.

This is because she's such a good friend.

"Hey," she says suddenly, a lightning bolt flash in her eyes. "Let's go buy some earrings and belts and stuff, before Tohma finds you and blows up."

"Yeah, 'cause that'll be messy, na no da!" Kumagoro jumps onto my head, as if to further himself from the splatter we're imagining.

Noriko laughs. I don't think I've ever really noticed how pretty her laugh is. "I love you, Ryu."

"AHEM!"

Another laugh. I feel so happy right now, floaty, and...hmm. Let's go with 'fluffy'.

"You too, Kumagoro."

-

I'm hanging out in Shuichi's dressing room now, modeling all my new accessories for him, as he's curled up on the couch, playing his Gameboy. I'm not sure what kind it is, but it's one of the newer, fancy ones.

It's my first time seeing Shu-chan today. He had radio interviews all this morning. I feel silly for admitting it, but I did really miss him. Me and Nori-chan had fun, though.

"Shuuu-chan!" I pop up beside him on the futon. "What level are you on?"

"Umm..." He rolls his eyes up toward the ceiling, thinking. "Fourteen, I think."

"You know what?" I whisper, even though I have not even a clue what game he's playing. "Kumagoro knows how to get to level fifteen!"

He just jabs at the little buttons for a few minutes, his face scrunched up in intense concentration, then sighs and gives up. "How?" He asks. "I'm totally stuck."

"It's easy!" Kumagoro says. "You just ask level fourteen for directions, na no da!"

He laughs, but it's an empty laugh, hollow laugh. Like a shell of his old laugh. Like an oyster with the pearl taken out. No more shiny.

I hope his shiny comes back soon. He has to sing in just a few minutes!

It's our second concert in Kyoto tonight. We're so popular, we had to do _two _concerts! Isn't that funny?

Oh. Shu-chan stood up. Now he's...

I'm not sure what he's doing. He's positioned himself in front of the mirror and he keeps fluffing his hair up, then flattening it with his hands, then fluffing it again! Over and over and over.

Maybe it's a nervous habit. Kumagoro says I have a few of those.

Shuichi does look a little nervous, I guess. So nervous, I think, that he looks unnaturally calm. His eyes look so far away, like purple zombie eyes.

Kumagoro likes zombies, but they creep me out.

"Shu-chan," I have to ask, "is something wrong?"

He just walks over and gives me a big, tight hug, for a long, long time. Oh, Kumagoro, he's shaking. And I don't think it's stage fright.

I rub his back, and he sighs a very un-Shu-chan-like sigh.

"Wanna talk, na no da?"

He thinks about this, then nods into my shirt.

He looks up at me with glittering, sparkling eyes, no longer those of a zombie, but of a lonely young man in need of a good cry.

"I miss Yuki so much." His voice is cracking. Breaking. He's still shaking, as he grabs the silky fabric of my shirt. "Every second that goes by, every single moment...I love him more and more. I love him so, so much, Ryuichi. I just want to rip my heart out so it will stop hurting. Sometimes..." He chokes back a sob. "I just want to give up."

No, no, Shu-chan. Please. You're making me want to rip _my _heart, into the tiniest of pieces, confetti-size.

Or maybe, I could give it to you. I'd give you all my love, my whole heart, Shuichi.

Would you accept it?

"You can't give up," I say so softly, I don't think he even hears me.

I don't know what to say about Yuki-san. I am guessing, that at this very moment, he is either very angry with me, or has forgotten the whole thing completely and moved on with his life.

I can't tell Shuichi these things, though.

So, instead, Kumagoro jumps onto his head and whispers something into his ear. Kumagoro always knows what to say.

See? Look, Shuichi is smiling again.

Or maybe that's just because Hiroshi-kun is telling him to get on stage.

Time to sing, Shuichi. Time to sparkle.

Kumagoro gives him a bunny high-five, then Shu-chan is off, to sing with his whole heart, like he always does.

And for those few short hours up on stage, he will smile, and pretend that the heart with which he is singing is not breaking into teeny-tiny confetti pieces with every note.

I know this because, every night, I do it too.

-

A/N: Eh. I like this one but not. I think I like everything about it except that the fact that Shuichi is such an emo. I made him way too depressed, I'm sorry. I'm no good with characterization, really. It fits into the story later though, I promise.

Anyways, this was a bit of a lighter, funnier-ish chapter...a 'calm before the storm', if you will. The next few chapters are so blisteringly angsty, it really pained me to write them. -laughs- Look forward to it?!

Love you guys so so so so SO much. Thank you as always for each of your reviews! They mean the world to me, and I adore and cherish every one! Thanks again for reading, everyone, and I hope Shuichi wasn't way too OOC for you. -hides under chair-


	9. Stardust

Disclaimer: NO.

**Stardust.**

Shuichi is moaning, his features twisted up in unimaginable pain.

I'm _trying _to make this as painless as possible, but _really._

Kumagoro isn't even trying to help.

"Ow, ow, owww." He's on the verge of tears now.

I stop massaging his red, swollen ankle.

I wasn't helping, anyway.

Shu-chan tripped onstage, over a stuffed animal that one of his fans had thrown to him. He says it didn't hurt at all, when he was up there singing, but now, late late at midnight, it hurts.

He sips the ginger honey lemon tea Hiroshi-kun made for him before he left in search of pain pills. This kind of tea is very good for a singer's voice, though I don't think that Shu-chan cares very much about his voice right now.

But Hiroshi-kun and me, we care about his voice a lot, so we make sure Shu-chan drinks his tea.

We're on Shuichi's bed again; he's sitting in my lap, snuggled up in a big, fluffy blanket. Kumagoro is sitting on Shu-chan's lap. Silly bunny.

Shuichi isn't saying anything. I think he's lost in his own thoughts. So I think I'll leave him alone, because if anyone knows what it's like to get lost, especially in thoughts, it's me.

Besides, I don't want to ruin this moment, this perfect, perfect silence between us. It's almost heavenly, ethereal, to be here with Shu-chan like this. I'm afraid to blink, afraid he'll vanish.

It's my biggest fear, that someday the wind will blow too hard and carry Shu-chan away.

Kumagoro says that's dumb.

But it could happen, I bet.

I've begun to surrender myself to the silence, to this blissful, immaculate quiet, when there's a knock at the door.

Hiroshi-kun must be back. That's good.

Shuichi winces at the sound, and I comb my fingers through his hair. So, so soft. I wonder which conditioner he uses.

He hugs me closer as I feel him shiver, when the door opens. There's a cold wind tonight. I wrap my arms around him, keeping him safe. Here. With me.

Shuichi doesn't know it, but he's all I'll ever need.

He lifts his head from my chest, slowly. He's sleepy. In the softest of whispers, he asks, "Yu...ki?"

Huh? Yuki?

Kumagoro, why didn't you tell me?

What is Yuki Eiri doing here? Why–

Oh.

Bye, Shu-chan.

You're gonna hate me forever.

Yuki-san reminds me of Shuichi, earlier tonight, in the dressing room. He's angry, all right. I know that much. He is, in fact, practically radiating anger.

But he looks so, so calm. Practically serene. Serenely angry.

His fists are clenched so tight, I'm afraid they'll explode. He is trying hard, I think, to keep him from shaking.

I've never noticed, Kumagoro. I never noticed how...beautiful...he is. His face is just gorgeous. No wonder Shuichi fell for him. His face is...

It's breaking my heart.

He's trying so, so hard. Not to break. Not to crumble. He doesn't want Shuichi to know how much he hurt him.

Except Shuichi didn't do anything.

I know, I know, Kumagoro.

This is all my fault.

I hate this.

Shuichi is looking up at Yuki-san, his violet eyes glittering with a million questions that he wants to ask, but doesn't know how.

He climbs out of bed, with some difficulty, on account of his injured ankle. He limps over to Yuki-san, and gently wraps his arms around Yuki-san's waist, laying his head on his chest.

I've never noticed before, how perfectly they fit together. It's like Yuki-san was designed for the sole purpose of being Shuichi's anchor, his pillow. His reason.

They were made for each other.

Kumagoro lifts a paw to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Thank you, Kuma-chan.

Yuki-san looks like he is being ripped up inside. Shredded. Torn up into itty-bitty confused, miserable pieces.

Just like me.

I _hate _this.

I watch Yuki-san's lips twitch, as he tries not to cry.

Kumagoro, my soul hurts.

He pushes Shuichi off him, not hard, just...away.

Shuichi stumbles backwards. I can't even look at him. The tears are streaming down his cheeks. He is broken already. Shu-chan is broken.

Yuki-san is broken.

And I'm just stupid.

I hate me, Kumagoro. I really, really do.

Yuki-san walks over to me. He is trying so hard not to cry. His hard is being swallowed whole, and he is pretending to not even notice.

I prepare to get punched in the face.

I _want _to get punched in the face.

Instead, he says, with such a deep, deep voice, "Here." He takes my hand and places something inside it. I don't know what. Small, and cold. "You can give this to him for me."

He glances, one last time, at Shuichi, who's fallen on the floor, sobbing so hard I'm afraid his tiny frame will shatter. Crumpled. Broken.

Yuki-san turns his head quickly, so quickly. I pretend I don't see him flinch.

And then he walks away.

Slowly, I open my shivering, trembling hand.

Amethyst. Shimmering. Stardust. Just like Shuichi's eyes.

The most exquisitely shining, perfect diamonds I've ever seen.

And a platinum band. A circle. Forever.

_Damn it, Sakuma!_

Oh, Kumagoro, I'm so, so sorry.

I didn't mean to throw you. That wall must have hurt. I'm sorry.

But...Kumagoro. I hate this. I...

I've broken forever.

-

A/N: So was it just me, or did the beginning of this chapter sound strangely erotic? -falls out of chair-

Yeah, this chapter doesn't seem very angsty to me anymore, on account of how I've edited it approximately fifty-two gazillion times, and therefore it has lost most, if not all, of its meaning. However, when I first wrote it, I remember being very, very sad for a while afterwards.

Your thoughts?

So, what will happen now, I wonder? Will Ryuichi ever stand up and tell the truth? Will Kumagoro ever get a break? And who will win the final showdown, claiming, once and for all, Shuichi's heart?!

Find out in...-gulps-...a month or so?

I'm so sorry! I suck. I know. But I have to go on a long trip...and I'll have a computer but...but but...the owners of said computer, I don't think, would not appreciate me saving this kind of file on it! In fact, I'd probably get eaten alive. -laughs-

But I promise, the final chapter and epilogue will be posted as SOON as I get home, which is at the end of August.

Thank you all so, so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll all stick around for the finale! I love you all. :D


	10. Crystals

Disclaimer: Kumagoro says I don't own Gravitation. Kumagoro doesn't lie.

**Crystals.**

I bolt.

Run.

Run as fast as I can, out of that tiny tourbus, that hellhole.

I need air. I need to remember how to breathe. I...

I'm scared.

It's so, so dark. I can't see at all. I'm scared I'll trip over a pebble or a slug or something, and I'll shrivel up on the ground and freeze to death.

Or maybe Yuki-san will murder me in a brutal and unconventional fashion, and then stuff my lifeless body in a dumpster to rot.

Or perhaps a combination of the two.

I'm scared, and I wish I brought Kumagoro.

He's the brave one.

Oh well. I've always been good at pretending.

"Yuki-san!" I yell, as loud as I can, right as he's climbing into his car. My voice echoes through the empty air, bounces, smacks me in the face. Even my own voice is mad at me.

"Yuki-san," I shout again, running over to his car, where he stands, holding his door half-open, not bothering to look at me.

"I lied," I say, gasping, hiccupping. Well, I think I'm hiccupping. But I may just be crying again. "Shuichi...doesn't love me. He loves you."

Yup. I'm crying.

Yuki-san spins slowly on his heel to face me. And he glares. Sharp, pointy daggers straight into my eyes.

"Every second that goes by..." I'm shrieking, now. Hysterical. Talking so fast my voice doesn't even have time to echo. I don't care, anymore, if I die. If Yuki-san murders me.

He just has to know this.

"Every single moment, he loves you more and more! He loves you so, so much..." I lean over and grip his car door, so I don't fall over. The tears are pouring out of my eyes, so fast. Like a fountain that someone forgot to turn off at night, confused and sputtering, out of control.

I hear Yuki-san take his cigarettes out of his pocket, shake a smoke out of the carton. Light up.

He doesn't say a word.

"Why..." Slowly, so slowly, like I'm just now learning to...I stand up straight again. "Why didn't you answer his calls?"

He sighs, sending a large cloud of smoke floating toward my face. I cough.

"Have you ever been so happy," he asks suddenly, his voice a dark, sultry baritone, "that you knew it had to be too good to be true?"

I think back. Of...of course have.

He was so perfect, and I was so, so happy...

"Yes," I gulp, swallowing the lump of fear that had somehow worked its way into my throat. "I have, and...it _was _too good to be true."

I shiver, and I don't think it's because of the cold wind that just blew past. I imagine ice crystals dancing through the air, latching themselves onto the tips of my hair, floating through my bloodstream...

Digging into my heart.

"I got hurt, badly, Yuki-san. And I...didn't want the same to happen to happen to Shuichi. Thats...that's why I lied to you."

Silence. A long, eerie silence.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Wh-What?"

"You like Shuichi." I hear him smirk.

My face must be redder than a tomato, right now, redder than Kumagoro's bowtie. Now, I am thankful for the dark.

"Sorry, Sakuma, but the brat's mine, whether he likes it or not."

What...I don't understand...what is he trying to...?

"The truth is, and I have no idea why the hell I'm telling you this," he chuckles, exhales more smoke, "that I was scared. I wanted to marry him. I pictured this perfect life, him and me. I had this dream. And I didn't want it to get ruined. I was scared that...he'd tell me he met someone new. That he got bored with me. That he had a fucking _epiphany _and finally realized what a fucked-up bastard I am and decided to run the hell away from me. I...I was scared the dream would leave me."

This is so weird. I...I always thought of Yuki-san as being totally confident. Self-assured. Unshakeable. I never would have guessed that he had fears too. That he could be insecure too.

That he was human, too.

I pinch myself, to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Ow.

"Yuki-san..." My voice is quivering. I need Kumagoro. I clutch the hem of my tee-shirt, but it's not the same. "Shuichi loves you. You know that." I sigh. "_I _know that. He would never, ever leave you no matter what, and...I think he would be the happiest person on earth if you asked him to marry you."

I choke. On smoke, fear, a stray ice crystal...I don't know.

He just stands there, completely silent, for a long, long time. Finally, he ashes his cigarette on the hood of his car and says, "Thanks, Sakuma."

Whoa.

Wasn't expecting that.

I pinch myself again.

Ow!

Yuki-san shakes another cigarette out of the pack, and I watch his eyes flicker in my direction. "Now stay the hell away from my boyfriend."

-

Shuichi's still on the floor when we return, Yuki-san and I. He's holding Kumagoro, rocking back and forth, sniffling. He's curled himself up into a little ball, trying with all his might not to break into pieces.

"Shu," Yuki-san says softly, kneeling down beside him. He's scared, I can tell.

Shuichi looks up, and I see it, fleeting, in his eyes. Fear.

Yuki-san flinches. He looks like he wants to cry.

I want to cry, again, too.

"Shuichi," Yuki-san whispers, pushing a stray strand of Shuichi's hair, wet with tears, behind his ear. "I'm sorry."

Shuichi blinks. I watch him hold Kumagoro tighter to his chest.

"I should've answered your phone calls," Yuki-san continues, sighing. "But I was busy, preparing something for you. A surprise."

The sparkle returns to Shuichi's bloodshot eyes. I watch as his lips are tugged upward by a smile.

"Sakuma," Yuki-san says through his teeth.

"Huh?"

"The ring, idiot."

"Oh!" I hand Yuki-san the ring, which I'd been keeping safe and warm inside my pocket.

"Damned if I can remember my speech now," Yuki-san scoffs, rolls his eyes. "So you'll have to settle for this lameass proposal."

He laughs as Shu-chan's eyes practically fall out of their sockets.

He is redder than Kumagoro's bowtie.

"Wanna marry me, brat?"

I don't even get to see Shuichi's face. He flings himself at Yuki-san, lickety-split, hugging him with such force that they both topple over onto the carpet together.

Poor Kumagoro is getting crushed.

Oh.

Wow.

I have never seen kissing like _that _before.

Where do they put their noses?

"Yes!" Shuichi finally shouts, as Yuki-san slides the ring onto his finger. "Yes yes yes yes YES!"

Hee. They're kissing again.

That looks...uncomfortable.

Well, as long as they're enjoying it.

It feels a bit sad, I'll admit, watching the one you love find such happiness in the arms of another.

Not really, though.

Because seeing him happy makes me happy, too.

Yes, that did make sense, Kumagoro.

"Sorry, Shu," Hiroshi-kun says, as he walks through the door, triumphantly holding a plastic pharmacy bag. "I kinda got – Oh. Wow."

I laugh. "That's what I said, na no da!"

"Hiro!" Shuichi yelps blissfully, between giggles and kisses. "I'm getting married!"

Nope, I'm not sad at all.

In fact, I couldn't be happier for him.

-

A/N: Dude. I finally finished typing this! Sorry for such a long wait, everyone. Vacations can be so uncool, sometimes.

My thoughts on this chapter...hmm. Four swear words in one sentence, that's a record for me. I'm not sure if I feel mature or very, very childish. Also, I gave Hiro a terrible sense of direction again. I'm so odd.

Oh, right. That. Okay, so, I've realized that probably about ninety-five percent of you are outraged right now. I'm pretty sure almost everyone reading this fic is a RyuShu fan. To all of you; I am so, so sorry. But YukiShu is my one and only OTP, and I seriously don't support either of them with anyone but each other.

However, I do love me some good old-fashioned one-sided RyuShu. ;D

So, I hope you guys are okay with this. If not, I'm sorry. But I promise, Ryuichi does get a happy ending! How could he not? He's too cute to be sad!

Also, huge, jumbo, ginormous thanks to everyone who's reviewed this thing since I last updated! The amount of reviews has seriously blown me away! I am so grateful, it's not even funny. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Pocky for all!

Ahem. This author's note is long. And so, thank you for reading! I'm going to bed. :D


	11. Infinities

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, or Buzz Lightyear.

**Infinities. **

When I first met Yuki Eiri, he wasn't Yuki Eiri yet.

It was the summer when Tohma came back from New York, and he brought back this kid.

Uesugi Eiri.

He was sixteen, seventeen maybe...I don't know, but by this time, he was well into his rebellious stage. He was moody. Sullen. He had _attitude._

I don't think I saw him smile once.

Then again, I never really saw him frown, either. Only when Tohma tried too hard to make him smile.

He didn't talk much either. He seemed so...distant. Disconnected. Unattached. Like he really wasn't there at all. Like he left his mind, his heart, back in New York, or somewhere.

Like he forgot it.

But when he did speak, there was one thing I noticed about his voice. It had the same quality of a popsicle that had been left in the freezer a little too long, so cold that it bites your tongue.

It sounded incredibly cold.

Now, Yuki Eiri is saying his vows to my good friend, Shindou Shuichi. He is promising eternity, promising forever. Yuki-san would give infinity and beyond, as Kuma-chan's friend Buzz Lightyear would say, for Shu-chan. And Shu-chan would give him two infinities.

Shuichi found Yuki-san's heart, I think.

I remember, three years ago, when Yuki-san ran away from Shuichi, ran to New York. I think he went there to find the heart he forgot so long ago, that he left buried in the snow.

But Yuki-san, I think, had trouble finding it. He had long forgotten where he'd left that heart of his, and he'd let the snow pile up and up and up on top of it.

His poor, freezing heart.

That's why Shuichi followed him up there. He brought a burst of sunshine, his own summerlight, his sparkle, and it melted the snow. Yuki-san and Shuichi searched together that day, and together, they found his heart.

And Shuichi, he stuck it in his microwave and warmed it up real good.

Right now, as Yuki Eiri promises his eternal love to his Shuichi, I can hear it in his voice. Warmth.

Immaculate, immovable warmth.

Liquid sunshine.

And you know what?

I even catch the slightest glimpse of a smile.

-

They are dancing their first dance now, Yuki-san and Shuichi, as a married couple.

There are lights, you know, the kind that people hang on their roofs at Christmas? The ones that look like glimmering icicles?

Twinkly little icicle strings.

Those are everywhere. Hanging, swooping, twisting, making designs so intricate, like swirling clouds of smoke, slowly uncovering, revealing the effects, most wonderful, of a magic spell.

Just like that.

Under the glow of the icicle lights, twilight-blue, Yuki-san and Shuichi look almost unreal. Too perfect, too, too perfect to belong on this earth.

The hopelessly happy grin has not left Shuichi's face since the moment he said 'I do'. Right now, Shuichi's smile could light up the galaxy, the universe. I think, right now, Shuichi could outshine the sun.

Yuki-san is shining too. His light may seem duller, his sparkle a little less shimmery, but really, it's not.

Kumagoro can tell.

Looking into his eyes, those that are gazing just so lovingly at the treasure he has found in his arms, we can tell that Yuki-san is happier than he ever thought he'd be in his life.

Shuichi stands up on his tiptoes and gives Yuki-san a sweet, chaste kiss on his chin.

Yuki-san pulls Shuichi in closer, and kisses the top of his pink head. He then smirks and whispers something in his little lover's ear, and Shuichi breaks into giggles, with an expression just so precious that words really can't describe it.

Several cameras, though, are flashing, struggling for just a flicker of this moment, praying for a fraction of their happiness.

I should've brought my camera.

Good thing you have a photographic memory, ne, Kumagoro?

Oh, that's right!

Later, I am going to sing for them.

Remember that crappy song I wrote on my jeans, that I told Shuichi I'd sing for him someday?

That's right, Kumagoro. "Butterfly Tears".

That one. I couldn't think of a better day to sing it on, could you?

I hear sniffing. Lots of sniffing. Nose-blowing on the engraved cloth napkins.

Shuichi's mom is crying some of the happiest tears I've ever seen.

Oh, yeah. I forgot I was talking to her.

Kumagoro, you're supposed to pay attention to things like that!

Hmm?

Well, I'm sure they'll serve the cake soon.

"He'd be so embarrassed if he knew I was talking about him like this," Shuichi's mom chuckles, dabbing at her eyes, "but I am so, so happy he's found love."

Me too.

Oh, sorry.

Me and _Kumagoro _too.

I really am okay with it now, just so you know. I mean, Shuichi loves Yuki-san with all his heart, and Yuki-san loves him too. Now I know for sure that he does.

And I could not be happier for the both of them.

Kumagoro and I, we would wish Yuki-san and Shuichi all the happiness in the world...

But we think they've already found it.

Hee.

As for me...I know my true love's out there, somewhere. I just have to find them!

Are you up for it, Kumagoro?

Of course you are, silly bunny.

Ooooh, let's look over there first, by the cake.

Yuki-san's brother is kinda cute.

**THE END!**

A/N: Oh...oh, my gosh. I cannot believe I completed another fanfic! This is crazy! OMG! -faints-

-wakes up a few hours later- Ahem...uh...well, this epilogue was hopelessly happy. It was way too fluffy for my tastes, but I like it anyway. It all started when I was preparing for a swanky party at my old elementary school, and there was a pack of balloons called "Twilight Blue". Ta-da! Inspiration!

...I'm so weird.

So, thank you so so so so so so SO freaking much to everyone who took the time to read this story! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! I'm eternally grateful, really. It means so much to me.

Oh goodness, I'm gonna cry.

So, um, thanks again! I hope you enjoyed this strange little thing! Um...Kumagoro hugs to all! I love you, and THANK YOU!


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